"All We Have on This Planet"
Short Fiction 1974 2,200 words


An alien occupation of Earth is foiled by the most mundane of organic functions.

  • When anthologist George Hay asked van Vogt to write a story subversive of something, he responded by writing this, an exaggerated example of the so-called "realistic" style that puts unnecessary emphasis on bodily functions. The resulting story is quite hilarious and provides a rare glimpse into van Vogt's under-rated sense of humor. (Other standouts in this regard include Computerworld and Cosmic Encounter.)

  • George Hay had van Vogt write another story, "Death Talk," for his 1978 anthology Pulsar 1.

Included In
The Best of A.E. van Vogt    [American] 1976
Stopwatch anthology
edited by George Hay
1974 October New English Library
hardback 0-450-02142-4 224 pages £2.50

cover artist: unknown


Dust Jacket Flap 1

Dust Jacket Flap 2


Title Page

Copyright Page

Table of Contents


First appearance

Month from ISFDB.

George Hay's autograph is not only illegible (apart from an exuberant "Y" at the end), but on the front flyleaf rather than the title page. Well, the seller said it was his autograph, but as far as I can tell it could just be a random scribble that bears a surface similarity to some of the letters in his name. Actually, it looks more like a doctor's signature. Hmmm... did Hay go to medical school, I wonder? :-P

Cover & other images: Walwyn Data: Walwyn
Stopwatch anthology
edited by George Hay
1975 November New English Library
paperback 0-450-02487-3 224 pages £0.60

cover art by
Tim White

(Paperback edition.)

Cover image: ISFDB Data: ISFDB